Are you there 75%? It’s me, Brit

I saw my Lyme doc two weeks ago, and since then thought and rethought how to write an update on my progress several times. There were no big revelations and I did not make as much progress as my doc had hoped I would.  We changed my antibiotics as expected. I had been on doxy for months, so it was a good time to switch it up to keep the Lyme guessing, and the sun sensitivity became an issue with the arrival of spring – sunburn at 4:00PM in April, anyone?? Not cool! My blood work didn’t reveal anything of note. No new symptoms. Some symptoms improving, none drastically.

The thing that keeps replaying in my mind is that she said she hopes to see me feeling 75% better by my next appointment in early June.

At my March appointment, she wanted to know what percentage better I felt. I had no idea what to say. I don’t think mathematically to begin with, and my health and general state of being has been so weird for months now – it’s really hard to quantify in such a cut and dry way. The lows are So Low, and the highs don’t really last long – so now I have to calculate some kind of average…can I phone a friend? Like, maybe my wife, who’s an accountant? 🙂

In the weeks following that appointment, I let the idea marinate, and by my April visit, I was able to say that I think I had been about 40% better in March, and was then, in April about 50% better. Even as I write this now, it feels disingenuous to say that I am 50% better when I’m sitting here with a headache and a face that feels like it’s falling off. That’s with a nap today, and all I did aside from preschool pickup/drop-off was take a neighborhood stroll, and run two brief shopping errands. I took very necessary naps the last three days, actually.

On the flip side, I was able to stay out and about with my son two days this week until 6:00PM. One day a gathering with friends, which I thought for sure would do me in, but the next day I felt pretty good and even did some heavy lifting at home – switching out our cold/warm weather clothes and doing some organizing.  The other long outing out was a pretty leisurely afternoon at the park yesterday, where the kiddo ran around and got filthy with buddies, and I got to chat with mommy friends – it didn’t feel particularly strenuous, but I am definitely feeling the effects of it today.

Which brings me to the other problem with the percentage rating – my current activity level. I am not doing what I used to do – what I hope to do again when I am better. I’m still not able to go about my business as usual – so to me, that seems like my percentage is pretty low. If I was trying to work with a doula client right now? I would say I was zero percent better, because I would be completely unable to do my job.  I am able to teach my music classes, but that is with careful planning to get enough rest the day prior, and recuperation time after. The classes are 45 minutes long and two days per week, by the way. It also takes me at least twice as long to complete my lesson planning now as it used to with my memory/focus problems. So what percent is that?

At any rate, feeling 75% better sounds really good right now. So here’s hoping.

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