Sad Bunny

The other day, my son found a red pen and decided to draw some pictures. He was busy for a while, making all kinds of doodles, and then called me over to see one he made for me:

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“I love it!” I said. He asked if I knew what it was. I guessed, “Maybe a duck?” “Nope,” he said, “It’s a sad bunny.” “Oh, why is it sad?” I asked. His answer was barely a whisper, so I asked him to repeat – “Lyme Disease.” I felt a lump in my throat.

“The bunny is sad because it has Lyme Disease?” I asked. He nodded seriously and said, “It’s you. You’re resting in bed.” I tried to hide how sad I felt in that moment. I told him, “Sometimes I’m sad that I have Lyme Disease too, but I try to remember that I will get better.” He was silent.

Thinking quickly, I suggested he draw a second picture – of me, happy, when I get better. He liked this idea, and grabbed a quarter that was beside him on the table to trace a circle for my head. He seemed happy with the finished product, but not entirely convinced. So I suggested we write something on the picture to remind us that Mommy WILL get better. He is starting to write a lot and do some spelling recently, so I knew even though he couldn’t read the words, he would understand. And he did.

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When we left the pictures on the table to go do something else, we were sure to leave the happy one on top, as a reminder. But the fact is, there are still days when I am that sad bunny. He knows that. I have no answer for him as to when the happy Mommy in the second picture will be here to stay.

No parent wants their child to see them as a sad bunny. I love that little dude more than anything, and I hate for him to be sad about me being sick.

There’s no moral of the story here. No neat bow to tie this package up in. Just a crappy moment from the trenches of Lyme.

 

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